Do people really change?

I know we’ve all heard the phrase “no one can truly change”. I know we’ve all heard it because most people have had someone in their life that hey wish they could change or would change for them.

When we meet people we have the initial one on one encounter that gives us some insight into if we do or do not want to build a relationship them. Now I’m not talking about only romantic relationships. This can happen with friendship, co workers, etc. but it hits us hardest when there is romance involved. Romance clouds our judgment sometimes. The fact that this is all new and shiny makes it appealing and we ignore certain warning signs at first.

But what if that initial interaction was taken away from you? What if when you first meet in person you already made up your mind and you want to build a relationship with this person.

You may know them through social media or the friend of a friend but you have never had that one on one interaction before. So how can you really know you guys click. Texting and social media helps people portray an image for which they want to be seen but may not be how they actually are. They can tell you all the right things that you didn’t even know you wanted to hear but coming out of their mouth it seems like fate that you guys met. You may think that they are the most unique human you have ever met and thank God every day that He put them into your life. Then you meet them in person and think “wow this is great” and feel as though your connection is strengthened more now by your physical connection. This continues for days, weeks even, but what happens when one day the shine rubs off and all you’re left with is the dull shell of the person you once thought you knew? What happens then? 

Sometimes the person never really changed, they are just showing you what is under the shiny exterior that they showed you at first. When affection turns into comfort. Compliments turn into jokes and ridicules.  Plans you make together go on the back burner to make room for the more “important” things. This may take a month, a year, multiple years but if you are not meant to be it will eventually be known. Whether you want to look truth in the face and make the hard decision is another thing completely. People get comfortable and adjusted to their new partner and makes plans for the future and maybe even mold their plans to fit the other person and their goals. This is a hard thing to let go of once you’ve been established. But just know that there are always other plans, other paths, and other people you will meet. Life is too short to settle and be unhappy. 

I am not saying that relationships should be easy and if they are not then run the other way. But sometimes the things you are fighting so hard to keep do not deserve all the effort you are putting in and it may be better for you, and the other person, if you just let  it go.